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Miss Chiff: Gossip Galore

Dear Miss Chiff,

I guess I will ask the question all 1Ls are dying to know right now. Do pictures and videos of ski trip come back to haunt you, considering we probably won’t remember half the stuff we do anyway?

-I’m a lush

Dear Alcoholic Anonymous,

Great question! Now that you’re half way through 1L, you should be quite aware that your reputation starts in law school and what you do now will haunt you for the rest of your law career. However, the ski trip is in BC, with only a certain amount of classmates, and I understand you believe there’s a good chance no one will remember it! Well, you couldn’t be more wrong. People have cellphones. Cellphones have cameras. Cameras record you making bad decisions while you’re tipsy, and this video is played at Law Show. Seriously. So drink at your own risk and know that everything can, and will, be documented.

-Miss Chiff, xo


Dear Miss Chiff,

I am in my third year, and have come to the realization that I am in love with you. Your charm and wit shine through your advice, and I feel like you have the wisest and kindest soul in law. I mean, who else would spend all their time helping strangers with their problems for free? I imagine you to have hair silkier than the finest of Egyptian silk, a smile more rare than Mona Lisa’s, eyes that would make even the stars in the sky look as dull as an Admin exam, and a body so hot that even in the extremely cold Edmonton winter you are still able to keep warm. Could you give a guy some advice on how to get a date with you? If you say yes, meet me at 7:00 pm at Carbolic where I will be waiting with a flower and a smile for you.

-Delusional 3L

Dear Psycho,

Well, this is awkward. You’re right; I am charming, witty, and kind. But I’m not sure if you’ve ever watched Gossip Girl (there are rumours that a certain basketball-playing-2L brunette hasn’t – what the heck?) but the person behind the writing never reveals his or her identity, unless an era is coming to an end, and Gossip Girl ends up being Lonely Boy and not Dorota. I’m getting off topic. As much as I would love to go on a blind date with my 3L stalker, it’s just not a possibility at this time. Over the years I’ve gathered too much fame and I’m not ready to end this era.

Unfaithfully yours,

-Miss Chiff