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He Said – She Said: Should You Bring a Date to Carbolic?

Brendan Sawatsky (3L)

Killing Two Birds with One Carbolic Date

Carbolic is one of the most magical nights of fun on the law school social calendar. It is an opportunity to get a little dressed up, have some classy food and cocktails, and enjoy one of the last times of the academic year you will be out with all of your law school friends. So why would you want to ruin it by bringing your significant other?

1. If you are coming from an economical (cheap) vantage point, Carbolic and Valentine’s Day fall on the same day this year. This is a perfect opportunity to have a romantic Valentine’s date where you and that special someone can enjoy all the company of your drunk friends. Who wouldn’t enjoy this? If an argument breaks between you and your date, there is no one better to have nearby to defend you than all your friends.

2. The location of Carbolic is the Hotel MacDonald. This means that if you are willing to put in the extra few dollars for a hotel room, (this may not be convincing if you were persuaded by the first point, but it still should be) the night may end… in a very special way.

3. Being at a table with all your peers on a Valentine’s Day date is perfect if your special someone is a really boring person. Personally, I cannot stand talking about non law topics for more than 10 minutes so if your boyfriend/girlfriend is something lame like an engineer, a nurse, or a SNAIL, they will not be able to contribute to your tirades about all the SCC cases you disagree with.

4. If your special someone is in law school than this is a no brainer. You must bring them, unless you want them to break up with you right before your Mexico trip during reading break! Wait a minute…
5. Is it too late to write for the other side?

6. At Carbolic there are bound to be other couples and many of them will be dysfunctional (especially if they are both in law school). This is a perfect opportunity to show your special person that your relationship isn’t as bad as they think. If you have average social skills, I am positive your date will think you are an exceptional boyfriend/girlfriend in contrast to other law students.

So if you want take care of the obligatory Valentine’s Day date, avoid boredom, have a “special” night, and make yourself look like the greatest boyfriend/girlfriend ever, while having fun with your friends then you must bring your Valentine’s Day date to Carbolic! However, there is a solid chance it could end in disaster, your awkward friends are bound to ruin it…

Kelsey Sinclair (2L)

Carbolic Smoke Ball: Best played as a singles event

Is your non-law boyfriend/girlfriend coming to Carbolic? Are you bringing a non-law date? Don’t. I’m not and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Just because it’s going to be Valentine’s Day doesn’t mean it would be fun to spend all night having a member of the unwashed masses cramp your cool law style. I could go on and on, the reasons are almost endless but I’m here to help you, so laid out the top 5 reasons why you should attend this year’s Carbolic solo:

1. There is nothing LESS funny than having to explain why Carbolic videos and speeches ARE funny: I basically decided it was better to leave my boyfriend at home when I started to explain why we called it the “Carbolic Smoke Ball” in the first place – ugh just too much work. And when you’re leaning over whisper-explaining the token “huge CANs” joke you might miss an even wittier “Northern Opportunities” zinger. Night ruined.

2. Saving $65: hello? I am actually and factually poorer every second of every day. The only thing I am willing to spend that kind of money on are the important things, you know, the basic necessities – like a dress for Carbolic…or my own ticket.

3. You have no one to embarrass but yourself: Last year’s dance floor was my bitch. And I don’t intend that this year’s be any different. But for some reason it’s not cool or sexy to treat a formal event like a night at Ave by busting out all the words to the latest chart toppers on the dance floor – especially when they include “Buns out, Weiner, but I gotta keep an eye out for Selen-er” but I do it anyways, and add moves.

4. You won’t be guilted into attending one of their social functions: It’s bad enough you’re dating a member of the unwashed masses, who wants to go to a gathering with an entire group of them? ummm no thanks. And if you play your cards right, for example, pretend you reeeealllly want them to come to Carbolic, and act SUPER disappointed when they can’t make it, maybe you’ll get to miss more than one, or better yet, a family function. Sorry Great-Aunt Flora, Happy 90th, but fair is fair.

eep. After listing the top 4, I am realizing how lucky I am to even have someone at home to leave at home. It is probably best if I don’t go into number 5 if I want to keep him around to leave at home at next year’s Carbolic too. Besides, in all reality it would be nice to spend this Valentine’s Day with your non-law significant other, because the time you get to spend together is minimal at best and at the end of the day, they may be an unwashed mass, but they are YOUR unwashed mass.