MALF

Horoscopes: Remedying the Winter Blues

Jenna Chamberlain and Sonali Khurana (3Ls)

 

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22 – Jan. 20):

New year, new you. Welcome change by redesigning your living space. Be inspired by your new and improved surroundings and plan for some significant changes in the near future. Stay prepared for change at a moment’s notice.

Suggested Remedy: Pack your suitcases

 

AQUARIUS (Jan. 21 – Feb. 19):

You have had the same routines and rhythms for years, but it’s 2019 and it is time to accept that some of these are just not working for you. Don’t get hung up on the way things have always been or long-standing traditions, become a new you, the best version of you that you can be.

Suggested Remedy: Cute new 2019 agenda

PISCES (Feb. 20 – Mar. 20):

Develop a vision for the year. Clean your glasses, if you have to. This is the year of, like, realizing things. Don’t be afraid to just accept and realize. Dedicate a day every week to go stand somewhere that gives you a clear vision of life and just soak it all in.

Suggested Remedy: Funicular (closed for monthly maintenance)

ARIES (March 21 – April 20):

This month you are feeling very competitive. Another semester is starting and you are ready to face the elements. However, you have to remember this is law school, and you have to stay responsible. Your prospects aren’t that good.

Suggested Remedy: Alcohol-free beer

TAURUS (April 21 – May 21)

This is the month of being impulsive and free. In the past you were feeling trapped, but it is a brand-new year and a brand new you. You are ready to embrace all the changes. The times are a-changin’, and so are a-you.

Suggested Remedy: Sundial making

GEMINI (May 22 – June 21):

Seek inspiration from your friends. Look at their failures to remember who you don’t want to be. Channel the strength of your social support network to get through this miserable month.

Suggested Remedy: Make friendship bracelets

CANCER (June 22 – July 23):

It is one of the coldest months of the year, and wow you feel it. Don’t let the temperature get to you and bring you down. Embrace the chill. Look up “winter” on Pinterest.

 Suggested Remedy: Blanket forts and fairy lights

LEO (July 24 – Aug. 23):

Bring your passions into the new year. Focus on an uncompleted, past project and remind yourself of creative interests. Get musical. Read that book. Finish that painting. Please, accomplish something for once.

 Suggested Remedy: Revisit an old project

VIRGO (Aug. 24 – Sept. 23):

It is the start of awards season, the time when accomplishments are celebrated and people are thanked. Take a moment to think about the people, pets, and objects that helped you be who you are, and say thank you (or screw you, if necessary).

 Suggested Remedy: Old family videos

LIBRA (Sept. 24 – Oct. 23):

Lately everything you say is a jumbled mess, your thoughts are flying out faster than your mouth is moving and no one understands what you are saying. Slow down and get those ideas together before you speak, especially if you are speaking in class, no one likes a blubberer.

 Suggested Remedy: Notepad for your feelings

SCORPIO (Oct. 24 – Nov. 22):

It’s sale season, baby. Every real shopper knows the real deals come in the early New Year. Recover from the stress of the holidays by giving into capitalist temptations. Your horoscope suggests financial growth this month, so take advantage of new money and shop, shop, shop!

Suggested Remedy: Shopping spree

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 23 – Dec. 21):

This month you will be particularly persuasive. People will be compelled to listen to you and follow your suggestions. But be wary, you might start to buy into your own persuasion and do something you don’t want to do, like take five exam classes.

Suggested Remedy: Cookies