MALF

Horrorscopes – October 2018

Jenna Chamberlain and Sonali Khurana (3Ls)

LIBRA (Sept. 24 – Oct. 23):

This month is your time to shine. Take a stand and call out the people who have been ruining your life. Tell yourself you’re worth it and go splurge on some Halloween spirit(s).

Recommended Halloween Costume: Slutty Ghost

SCORPIO (Oct. 24 – Nov. 22):

It is your favourite time of year, because it is YOUR time of year. You are the most important person in your life. You are the center of attention. You are you.

Recommended Halloween Costume: Slutty You

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 23 – Dec. 21):

Spend this Halloween with your friends – take some time to spook your closest buds. Channel your energy into the workplace and ask yourself if you’re being paid enough. Maybe it’s time to schedule a meeting with the bosses.

Recommended Halloween Costume: Slutty Paycheque

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22 – Jan. 20):

Whether you show it to the world or not, you are a keener. Even when you are out on the town, you miss the library. This Halloween, bring your textbooks with you.

Recommended Halloween Costume: Slutty Textbook

AQUARIUS (Jan. 21 – Feb. 19):

This is your month to reinvent your career personality. Forget about impressing your parents and pursue your inner writer, rock star or whatever. All you have to do to achieve your dreams, is apply for them.

Recommended Halloween Costume: Slutty Resume

PISCES (Feb. 20 – Mar. 20):

This is the month to be creative, but you are in law school, so you’re either not creative or too busy to be creative. Luckily for you, colouring is not for kids anymore, it is cool and hip and, best of all, EASY. Go wild with those markers.

Recommended Halloween Costume: Slutty Colouring Book

ARIES (March 21 – April 20):

Watch out for those finances this month. Now is the time to audit every bank account you have, because fraud is in the air. Did you really purchase the subscription to Fitness Gals? Did you really buy that donut? Watch out.

Recommended Halloween Costume: Slutty Bank Statement

TAURUS (April 21 – May 21):

This month, get yourself onto the market. Get ready to put up that down payment. Get the title you deserve.

Recommended Halloween Costume: Slutty House

GEMINI (May 22 – June 21):

This month, you are in your element.

 Recommended Halloween Costume: Slutty Periodic Table

CANCER (June 22 – July 23):

Lately you have been feeling in the pits. Nothing soothes the soul like food. Make sure all your meals this month inspire you and bring you joy.

 Recommended Halloween Costume: Slutty Avocado

LEO (July 24 – Aug. 23):

This month don’t be afraid to speak up against all the ghouls and goblins in your classes. Ask that question you’ve been thinking about and raise that hand that’s been typing away. Make sure the question makes sense. Please.

 Recommended Halloween Costume: Slutty Question Mark

VIRGO (Aug. 24 – Sept. 23):

You are a student, but inside you are Kim Kardashian. Even if you can’t afford the lifestyle you have always wanted, this is the month to get that expensive treat you have been eyeing. You worth it.

 Recommended Halloween Costume: Slutty Louis Vuitton