elhackoqueens

Holly Spurrell (1L)

One of the only things that has the potential to improve an already incredible day of golfing with friends, old and new, is the addition of costumes. The costumes donned by the participants of the annual “El Hacko” golf tournament serve as a manifestation of the creativity, craftiness, and humour of my fellow students. In this piece, I wish to highlight and comment on some of the different costumes that were on display, to give a general review of my experience at El Hacko. Finally, I will introduce my own El Hacko mystery.

First of all, upon arriving at eight in the morning, and having our tournament delayed as a result of the frost, we were all jealous of the people who wore onesies. No one was envious of the guy in the pink dress that morning; it was cold! During the time spent waiting to get our carts, many of the golfers commented on the brilliance of those who wore fleece animal jumpsuits; they were warm, and their costumes didn’t need to be covered with coats. However, the cold start of the morning was short-lived, it turned out to be a marvellous day, and everyone was thrilled. That is, everyone but the “emos,” who are not thrilled by anything, ever, and certainly not by a good time in the sunshine.

As the tournament progressed, my golf team and I encountered many different characters. There was the “dad,” decked out in “dad” shorts and a fanny pack. And then there were the “golfers,” all of whom had at least one plaid article on, and some of whom proudly sported plaid hats with pom-poms. These characters are seemingly required for every golf event. Then there were the two crews of pirates, who claimed their carts by threatening the rest of the golfers with a sword fight. The “Advocats” quickly surrendered their carts to the buccaneers, as they could not take the risk of walking the plank and getting wet. There were the palaeontologists, who were generous enough to bring their prized Tyrannosaurus Rex to the tournament with them (although a zookeeper might have been a good idea to keep him under control). There were the guys who wore hockey jerseys, and the girls who wore UGGs and sipped pumpkin spice lattes. My team and I fashioned some T-shirts into playing cards and called ourselves the “Queens of Clubs.”

While cruising around the golf course, and whacking golf balls down the fairway (or into the trees), people were celebrating old friendships and creating new ones. I am extremely glad that I decided to attend this event, not only for the new friendships I made with the “Queens of Clubs,” but also for the warm welcome my fellow 1Ls and I received from the upper years.   This El Hacko golf tournament is just one of many events that highlight why this law school is a great place to be.

Now, an El Hacko mystery.  Observe this picture of my teammates and I. Without background information, nothing appears to be amiss in this photo. However, something is just not right. Allow me to unpack.

Not knowing or having the kind of shoes that are required for golf, I opted to wear a pair of white converse sneakers. The shoes were fine, my feet were a little chilly at first, but as the day got warmer so did my feet. I golfed the entire day with no issue, and had a great time at the after party. Everything was fine. The next day, one of the Queens shared ome pictures that were taken at the tournament. I found the pictures I was a part of and zoomed in. And that’s when I saw them: my shoes.

elhackoshoes

The shoes in the picture are almost certainly not the converse sneakers I was wearing all day. What kind of shoes are these? Where did these shoes come from? The tongue is huge, akin to a skate shoe. There are stripes on the side which resemble the stripes of an Adidas shoe. They seem to have an arch similar to a Skechers shoe. One of the people I consulted on the issue claimed that they appeared to be nursing shoes or perhaps tennis shoes. More importantly, how did these shoes end up in the picture?

You might be thinking: there is mud on the shoes which created the Adidas stripes and other strange patterns, but you’d be wrong. The stripes look too uniform, and the mud theory does not account for the entirely different shape of the shoe in the picture. Could there be something else happening here? Perhaps this picture is a message from the ghost of El Hacko past. This theory posits that the ghost was present with us at the tournament and that the shoes in the picture are his calling card. Or maybe this is evidence of a parallel universe. There may be another version of me in a parallel dimension, identical in every respect except our footwear. The possibilities are seemingly endless. If anyone has any other theories or clues as to how this happened please feel free to drop me a line and let me know.

Despite #shoegate, El Hacko was an El Successo, and I can’t wait for next year to see what costumes my clever classmates come up with, and to see what shoes I will be wearing.