JTT gavel

So I Tried to Marry a Doctor: Can Law and Med Ever Really Mix?

Kyle Procee (2L)

It’s that time of the year once again, when all of the best and brightest of the University of Alberta’s shining beacons of academia get together to either commiserate or celebrate the wonders of higher education, and also there were nurses this time…. That’s right a hazy number of Fridays ago the future doctors and lawyers of Edmonton got together at an establishment named for both juvenile children’s games and beverages that legally only adults can drink, to show that they can act as shockingly unprofessional as even the Management majors.

For the first year ever, the Law-Med mixer included the nursing faculty into it’s ranks and, honestly, you could not tell the difference. While it’s every mother’s dream that one day their child will grow up to become a doctor, or, when their grades and MCAT’s just aren’t quite strong enough to get into Med school, marry a doctor, or, at least, drunkenly hook-up with a future doctor at something called a “Beercade,” the truth is, there’s no real chance of this happening.

The Law-Med mixer becomes something like a hackneyed scene in a coming-of-age high school movie where, at the big dance, the boys stay on one end of the gym and the girls stay on the other, pushed apart by the strong magnetic forces of awkwardness, except instead of a gym, its in a fully functioning bar with groups of regular patrons filling the empty space between law and med. Perhaps these were the nurses?

All I can say for sure is that, in my undercover capacity posing as a highly intoxicated law student, regardless of how many strangers I talked to, I couldn’t find anyone who fessed up to attending Med school. And I talked to everyone. I mean, the bouncers, people next to me at the urinal, the friends that I came to the bar with, other friends from law school who I had met there, and some guy throwing up in the alley behind the bar. None of those people, not one, went to Med School! It was almost as if the one thing missing in the Law-Med mixer was actually finding a way to mix the law and the med students.

While the event was a rousing success for binge drinking and further evidence that my vendetta against my liver is holding strong, I was left with some burning questions that I fear may never be answered. Is it still possible for a budding lawyer to land him or herself a doctor? Can I ever truly make my parents proud having not gotten into Med school? Did any Med students even show up? Are they simply too serious and responsible to stoop to our level? Was the person throwing up in the alley actually me? And the answer to all these questions, and to most of the questions that I was faced with the next morning is simple: I don’t remember and don’t choose to dwell on it.