Canons of Construction

David Foster (3L)

Now I’m done that open memo, yeah I passed Foundations,

Killed it with my statutory interpretations

I’m the new McLachlin, and since I made it here

I can make it anywhere, judges love me everywhere

I used to be an Arts student, all of my electives

History, Philosophy, could only work at that McDonalds’

Took the LSAT, got a 158 score

Now I’m in Devaney’s every day having one more

Cruisin’ down Whyte Ave, Friday and Saturday

Off to the Pint for a party with the LSA

Me, I’m in the library, SNAILs can’t even get to me

Tell by my attitude that I’m most definitely in…

Chorus:

Law school, where pizza is free and dreams can come true

There’s no one you can’t sue

These suits will make you feel brand new

These cases will inspire you

Let’s hear it for law school, law school, law school…

Catch me in a suit with my files at the Law Courts

SLS appearances are why I never come to Torts

You should know I bleed Crim, but I ain’t a criminal

All of the prosecutors know who I am though

Don’t forget I’m also on ALR and Law Show

No time for readings, but I got a CAN though…

Now I found my articles, you know I got it made

Partner in ten years, or if I don’t make the grade

Hang up my shingle, I’ll be my own boss

I’m Harvey Specter, you can be Mike Ross

(Chorus)

Hours are long but as long as you can bill

You’re just a billing machine with time to kill

Started in commercial, IP, patent law

Now I do divorce law, real estate, tax law

City of sin, make a living from crim

Good lawyers gone bad, the city’s filled with them

Came here for school, graduated to the high life

Judges, politicians addicted to the limelight

Ten-year-old Scotch got me feeling like a champion

A lawyer never sleeps, but I gotta get a nap in…

(Chorus)

One hand in the air for the big firms

Hiring 1Ls once they pass their midterms

No career in the world that could compare

Put your CANs in the air everybody say yeah, yeah, yeah…