Skip to content

New Year; New You? Law School Resolutions You’ve Already Failed

Kyle Procee

It’s that time of the year once again, where every person is given the opportunity to take a long, hard look into their own insecurities and decide to overcome their own shortcomings. However, as law students our resolutions are not as simple as hitting the gym, or quitting smoking. Instead we’re all taking in the new year as our chance to revitalize our student careers (and still failing at the same rate as typical broken resolutions). So here is a collection of Law School Resolutions that you’ve probably already broken.

Drink Less, Make it to Morning Classes More. After the whirlwind of drinking that is midterms, finals, and the holidays, the new semester provided many students the opportunity to take a crack at sobriety and maybe make it to some of those early morning classes without a hangover. However, the deadly combination of First Friday Back, the ski trip and the depressing reality of mediocre exam marks coming in will drive even the most committed student to the bottle.

Stop. Don’t Procrastinate, and Listen. Ice was back and had a brand new mission. The mission to take this new semester as a chance to right all of the wrongs of last semester and finally close that Facebook tab, ignore all incoming iMessages, and focus on what your professor is lecturing on. And… if you’re anything like me, this resolve lasted about halfway into a discussion of estate law your first class back before the noble art of distraction overtook you and you find yourself scoring 100% on a ‘Name the Star Wars Character Quiz’.

Hit the Books. Hard. Listen, last semester is over. So what if you squeaked by without doing all of those hours of reading? That was Past You, and Past You is a lazy sack of crap. This is 2016, and in 2016 Present You is going to get his act together and blast through every assigned reading. This goes great until you get a 28-page textbook excerpt that you rationalize can just be skimmed though, and then decide that most of the SCC cases are obiter anyway, so you can just skip the middle chunk and that, in fact, you get the same thing out of just reading the case brief online. Soon you’ve gone from a steadfast commitment to read everything assigned to waking up with a hangover Monday morning and realizing that not only have you not finished any readings, your first class started half an hour ago.

Finally be a More Put Together Person. Yeah…this one was never going to work out for you. Sorry.