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Miss Chiff

Dear Miss Chiff,

LinkedIn, facebook, the ‘gram; you name it I have it. But what I am really looking for is a unique way to attract firms. What do you think about snapchat?

Looking for a job


Dear Looking for trouble,

This sounds like an awesome idea! When I think of snapchat, the first thing that comes to my mind is CONSUMMATE PROFESSIONAL. I think the best way to go about it would be to get the personal cell number of the recruiter or managing partner of the firm you’re interested in, and go from there. Chances are they are not hip enough for snapchat (unless you found a lawyer that is 14 years old and desperate for attention), so maybe you should just text them pictures. Then, since they won’t be automatically deleted, the photos will be around for years to come. In five or ten years, you will certainly look back at the pictures with a great sense of nostalgia for all of the top-notch life choices that you have made.


Dear Miss Chiff,

I really think I need to break up with my girlfriend, but Carbolic is coming up! I really don’t want to go alone, should I wait until after the prom?

–       Afraid to be Alone


Dear Lonely Heart,

I really think that in this case you should wait. Think about it, February 13th is Carbolic, and there will probably be a photo booth again. Who wants to be immortalized in fancy photos as a loser without a significant other?! Not you! So what you should do is bring your girlfriend, then the day after (February 14th, obvi) break it to her gently that you will no longer need her as an associate. It is a sound reputational move.


Dear Miss Chiff,

The firm I really want keeps rejecting me. Every time I see them, they just get way cooler. Should I apply again?

–       Wants to be Cool


Dear Wannabe,

Well, the practical advice would be yes, it shows your interest. However, I think the issue here is that you think lawyers and law firms are “cool”. I hope you realize that law school is a giant amalgamation of the people who were desperately uncool in junior high and high school. It is like going to a medieval festival or a Warhammer tournament, even if you’re the coolest person there, you still aren’t cool. So stop worrying about popularity and just be yo’ weird self.


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