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Profile of the SNAIL

Ariel Lekas, 1L

Not even three months into 1L, I am well aware of the derision and disdain that most law students hold against the common SNAIL. Although the University of Alberta aspires to “maintain a culture of scholarship and open academic inquiry, respect and tolerance” in all of its libraries, it’s sometimes hard to remember that while we’re paying extra tuition, strung out on caffeine, and looking for a place to cram for finals. As lawyers, we will have see things from our clients’ perspectives – why not start now, with one of John A. Weir’s own SNAILs?

Q: Hello, SNAIL! What is your year and program of study?

A: Fourth year, Bachelor of Education

Q: How often do you come to the Law Library to study? Do you usually come alone or with a friend? If with a friend, is that friend in law school?

A: Well, the first time I came it was to wing-woman my friend. Once I saw how cute the law guys were, I started coming more often. Now I come with my boyfriend to make sure he’s not creeping on the 1L girls too much.

Q: Why would you choose to come and study in the Law Library as opposed to one of the other libraries on campus?

A: Have you seen the talent among the upper year law guys? I hear they’re really good at handball too!

Q: Do you feel welcome in the law library? Do you feel like there is a stigma attached to being a SNAIL? Please explain why or why not.

A: Haterz gonna hate. I don’t feel welcome because they think they’re better than everyone… and they are.


Q: If there was one last carrel in the law library and you saw a law student heading towards it at the same time as you, would you let them have it?

A: Yes I would, because if there was one basketball left they better fricken give it to me.


Q: Have you ever had any awkward encounters with a law student in the law library?

A: One time this tall guy who kind of looks like Uncle Jesse from Full House asked me to make out with him in the bathroom. Awkward! I think his friends call him the King?


Q: Have you made any observations or drawn any conclusions about law students based on their behavior in the law library?

A: They think it’s okay to be loud on the main floor just because they’re in law. I understand that there are resources down there but it doesn’t excuse talking while others are studying.

Q: Do you want to go to law school?

A: Why would I want to go to law school when my boyfriend is and can just buy me everything I need when he’s a rich lawyer?

Q: Is there any message you want to pass on to the law students about SNAILs such as yourself?
A: You don’t own the place. King Steve owns it!