Lace Up, Ladies!
Heather Thompson (3L)
Ladies! Time to dig out the long johns and buy a jill. It’s that time of the year – hockey season! And no, I’m not talking about sitting through endless conversations with your boyfriend about his fantasy team and how this is the year that the [insert perpetually disappointing NHL team here] will finally bring home the Cup. I’m talking about Swift Justice Women’s Hockey!
So you say you can barely stand on skates and can only stop by crashing into the boards? Perfect! You’re our new right-winger! Did you play ringette but don’t quite get the whole puck thing? Fantastic! You’re on defence! Were you a graceful figure skater and you’ve never been on hockey skates? Boom! Borrow your kid brother’s old pair of skates and come on out! Are you a hotshot that has played years rep? You’re in!
Here’s the deal with Swift Justice. First of all, props to the girls way back in the yester years for coming up with a pretty sweet name (Tortfeasers? Litagators? Did the boys even try to be witty?) Second of all, we’re very inclusive – just no boys allowed. Bring skates, a stick and maybe a jill to protect your lower girl parts and you’re in! Lastly, it’s a fun time and as long as you don’t break an arm then you’ll love it! And even if you do, it’ll make a great story!
Ok. I get it. You’ve overcommitted or you’re still recovering from that nasty slo-pitch injury over the summer. I don’t want to hear a single excuse for not showing up to cheer on your lifelong love, blush-inducing crush, or new BFF – ain’t nobody got time for that! We have a loyal and committed fan base, but I think we can always take a few more. Our fans know no bounds – I would challenge that we are the only women’s campus rec team in recent memory to have a fan dramatically thrown from the stands and banished from the arena. His crime, you ask? Throwing his hat on the ice to celebrate an epic hat trick by one of many law ladies who joined the team with minimal skill but lots of heart…and then scored three goals. NBD. We will make winners out of you, and if not, you will never have so much fun losing!
So grab your gear and head on over to Van Vliet for an evening of fun – first game TBA. Last year we were graced with the presence of three Aussies and a Kiwi for one epic showdown with the Nursing crew, and only one broken arm! Don’t fixate on that last detail. Focus on the fact that those ladies came all the way from the Southern Hemisphere without a speck of experience on the ice, and despite a wee injury we came out with a big win and a heck of a story for them to take back Down Unda’! So join the legend ladies, and we’ll see you on the ice!