Law Guy

Chris Yang (3L)

1. Name and Year
Chris Yang (3L)

2. Pet Peeve
How all the ladies love Andrew Wong. Leave some for the rest of us bro.

3. Favorite Pixar movie.
UP – oh yes.

4. Favorite class
I enjoyed all my first year classes actually.

5. When/how did you two meet?
We met around 9 am on our first day of class, which if I remember was a criminal law class. It was a big moment in both our lives so I can pinpoint the date, place and time.

6. What’s something you’ve always wanted to say to Nina but haven’t?
See Cee-Lo’s new single

7. Superpower of choice
Telepathy

8. Professor you want to be more like and why.
Professor X

9. Preferred career (law, superhero???)
Lady Killer

10. Biggest regret
Being a muggle

11. Famous/historical figure you wish you could punch in the face
Snooki

12. Famous/historical figure you wish you could hug
The guy who punched Snooki

13. What is love?
It’s where babies come from

14. Words of wisdom
Hello, babies. Welcome to Earth. It’s hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It’s round and wet and crowded. At the outside babies, you’ve got about a hundred years here. There’s only one rule that I know of babies – “God damn it, you’ve got to be kind.”

Law Girl

Nina Brnada (3L)

1. Name and Year
Nina Brnada (3L)

2. Pet Peeve
Dan Shouldice.

3. Favorite Pixar movie.
A Bug’s Life.

4. Favorite class
Bourgeoisie.

5. When/how did you two meet?
I don’t remember.

6. What’s something you’ve always wanted to say to Chris but haven’t?
Chris, I’m only friends with you because of your amazing CANS.

7. Superpower of choice
Teleportation.

8. Professor you want to be more like and why.
Professor Hopp because he’s unforgettable.

9. Preferred career (law, superhero???)
“Ladies is pimps too, go and brush your shoulder off.”

10. Biggest regret
What an odd question? No regrets.

11. Famous/historical figure you wish you could punch in the face
Mike “The Situation,” for obvious reasons.

12. Famous/historical figure you wish you could hug
Gerard Butler. He’s so manly.

13. What is love?
Hmm…I suppose it’s when the right person comes along… someone with green eyes and a nice laugh, who I could call ‘Pooty Pie’… or ‘bitsy pookums’. “Bitsy pookums” I’d say. “Yes snoogy woogy,” he’d reply…

14. Words of wisdom
“You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.” Homer Simpson

He Said

Jorge Pineda (2L)

Halloween is upon us and I’m trying to convince my significant other that our costumes should go together. What is your take on couples’ costumes?

What do I think about couple costumes? To be honest, “couple costumes” is a world in which I have yet to personally dabble in. I might be speaking from a guys perspective (yes, that’s right, I speak for all men everywhere) when I say it’s not a situation I would recommend to many friends. At the very least, I would caution them to proceed with care.

I think girls may find it endearing or perhaps even charming to see a guy willing to coordinate costumes for Halloween with his girlfriend (after all, my research indicates that, after acting like a jerk, nothing attracts a woman more than the perception that you are off the market.) When it comes down to it, the average bear doesn’t have Ian Tyler Gordon’s ability to pull off ‘cool’ when playing dress-up with his girlfriend. When it comes to us lay people with mediocre to piss-poor theatrical abilities, a guy who is willing to forego the opportunity of joining the Team Fortress 2 crew with the boys, or who rejected “Starsky and Hutch” for “Plug and Socket”, is demonstrating he has taken his relationship to a medium-advanced level. This means that a guy is somewhere between no longer being overly concerned about passing gas in front of her, but just before losing interest in her “fire-fighter girl” booty shorts costume.

I hope this doesn’t come off as a lame macho-er-than-thou critique. I’m not suggesting couple costumes present some kind of a verdict on a gentleman’s masculinity. I’m sure there are circumstances where a Mickey and Minnie couple costume appears to the eye much more like Ball and Chain, but that would be an exception. A Ball and Chain suggests coercion. However, when my guy friend strolls in tossing out ‘me Tarzan, you Jane’ lines at the bar with his lovely girlfriend, as the machine-gun toting Capone Gang and I watch on in dismay, I know he has stepped into a much murkier world of acquiescence, and at worst, giddy consent.

I don’t think it’s farfetched to say that when a guy comes to Halloween in a ‘couple costume’, unless there is further clarification, he’s making a statement. It suggests to me that he is probably taking it easy on the jager bombs because he has a busy Saturday at Home-Depot buying wall-paper and maybe some flooring (not that there’s anything wrong with that).

I will end by saying that I have had the personal fortune of being able to see my friends experience the flesh tone jump-suites of Adam and Eve, the self-deprecating combos of Dog and Fire-Hydrant and Princess and Frog (why is it usually the guy that gets screwed?) and I look forward to it again this year. For now, I think I will stick to the group costumes, or even fly solo, while maintaining at least an outward appearance of my sham independence.

She Said

Joanna Waldie (2L)

Halloween is upon us and I’m trying to convince my significant other that our costumes should go together. What is your take on couples’ costumes?

My take on couple’s costumes is the same as my take on public displays of affection: keep it subtle and classy. Just like I don’t want to watch you guys shove your tongues down each other’s throats, or overhear your “no you’re cuter” conversation, I also don’t want to be slapped in the face by the overt expression of your ‘couple-hood’ through costume.

No matter how cute, hot, or sexy a couple you think you are, the attendees at the Halloween party of your choice don’t need or want to watch the advertisement.

Girls, if you’re thinking of going with the “Mean Girls” definition of a costume and think that adding your partner of various significance to the mix makes it more legit, let me assure you: it doesn’t. Putting your boyfriend in a smoking jacket and donning bunny ears still fits you into the over-sexed criteria above, and is also kind of cliché (and creepy…Hugh Hefner is old…he lived through the Great Depression, a war and had a stroke 25 years ago…seriously).

On the cliché note, as with any Halloween costume, the more clever and attuned to pop culture your couples costume is, the better. (I fully expect others to abide by this policy, but never practice it myself – when you see me at HalLAWeen wearing one of my old skating dresses, carrying a police baton and claiming to be Tonya Harding, please feel free to call me on it.) I lamented not thinking of Jon and Kate Plus 8 costumes last Halloween, but if I see any more Flintstones couples, Sexy Nurse and Doctors or Ball and Chains, I may just whack someone with Bam Bam’s bat.

If you’re feeling discouraged about your Sonny and Cher concept after reading this, don’t lose hope – just change focus. Find a group of pals and come up with a group costume.

Group costumes are where it’s at; they are inherently more creative, less cutesy-wootsy, and likely less overly sexed up…unless, of course, you hook up with a group of mean girls.

Interviewing in Both Edmonton and Calgary: An Articling Survival Guide

Trevor Kelly (3L)

Whether you’re a bright eyed, bushy tailed 1L, or a seasoned veteran 2L, you’ve probably heard about the fun that is articling recruitment week. It’s that “fun” time of summer between 2L and 3L when many law students interview with law firms in the hopes that one of them will take them on as articling students after graduation. Depending on where you want to article, recruitment week can occur at very different times of summer, and only in the larger cities like Edmonton, Calgary, Vancouver, Toronto, etc. Where it can get tricky is if you try to schedule interviews in two places in one week, as can happen if you want to interview in both Edmonton and Calgary, which share the same interview period.

That’s what I did, and it can get pretty hectic, so I’m going to provide a few suggestions on how best to survive if you’re thinking of applying to both cities.

Stagger interviews: Don’t schedule interviews in both cities on the same day. Unless you’ve got a private jet or helicopter at your disposal, I can’t even begin to imagine how difficult it would be to try to accommodate interviews in both cities on the same day. For myself I scheduled my first interviews for Calgary on the Monday, first interviews for Edmonton on the Tuesday, second interviews for Calgary on the Wednesday, and second interviews for Edmonton on the Thursday. Scheduling in a similar manner is probably your best bet.

Fly if possible: Often firms will invite you to dinners or receptions. These will probably involve alcohol, and can go fairly late. If you’re at a dinner until 11:00pm, and have had about 4 or 5 drinks, that’s not the best way to begin a drive down the QE-2. Flying is fast and convenient in these circumstances, so if you have the Airmiles to spare, this is definitely the way to go.

Have a place to stay: Edmonton has been my home for the last 8 years and I’m well established here, but for interviews in Calgary I was fortunate to have my older brother with a condo downtown. It was very handy to be able to stay there, and it was in walking distance to all my Calgary interviews. Many of you may not have family or friends who you can stay with while in either city, so if not, a hotel downtown probably works as well.

Find a chauffeur: For Edmonton I had my girlfriend, for Calgary I had my parents. Whether relying on family or friends, it helps to have someone to drive you around if your time is short or you’ve had a few drinks with a firm.

Applying to both Edmonton and Calgary can make recruitment week even more stressful than it is already. However, if you want to keep your options open, it can definitely pay off in the end, as it did for me.

The Sun Never Sets on Law

Jake Tynan (3L)

The sun does not revolve around the earth. One fifth of Americans believe just that. Before we hold up the intellectual superiority sign over those ignorant neighbors of ours, I would like to use that example to illustrate an altogether different point. There is more than one way to explain a phenomenon. Superficially, the sun appears to float over top of the earth. Elementary science will however, show you in awesome diorama-like-form, that the planets orbit the sun in a cosmically stellar way.

Although a physicist will tell you that you never actually touch anything and there are how many parallel universes? With how many dimensions? We’re what… wiggling filaments? Science is one thing, but human— constructed theories that seek to explain phenomenon’s are by nature harder to conclusively prove.
Law is an interesting beast. There are a ridiculous number of origins of law. In this I’m not stating legislatures, tribunals and judges; I’m talking nitty-gritty stuff like cultural viewpoints, political environments right down to individual subjective beliefs.

The SCC would have you believe that there was always one common law… and they are just in the process of figuring it out. Bull. Law changes fundamentally when the viewpoints of that society changes. What was once acceptable is later clearly not appropriate (perhaps a rule of thumb?).

My point being in law and life is that what is today might not be tomorrow. Law school and the practice of law generally have a rough sense of culture and belief system that it adheres to. There are norms. There are levels of acceptability. There are uniform goals and expectations. As a law student and lawyer you must know what is valued, and how you are to go about achieving what is valued.

I don’t think this means however, to drop your former self and assimilate into the law world entirely.

Just as the culture of society is influenced by the views of its population, the culture of law is influenced by the practitioners who exist now and historically. The law world still represents a bastion the A-type wealthy white male that has been antiquated elsewhere. The faculty of Law at the University of Alberta is something special in Canada. For whatever reason, there is a culture here that is more progressive than in the other law schools. Here more than elsewhere, there are numerous volunteer activities that allow you to gain a better appreciation of the role you can play within society. First: join student legal services. Take your responsibilities seriously. You will affect the lives of others in dramatic ways. Join Law Show, play in Law’s- a-Beach, or participate in one of the many other group activities. Not only does this get you exposure to your peers but it gives you a texture of the world you would otherwise miss out on. It will be beneficial in your future career. Each time that earth passes around the sun, society evolves. Adaptability, not strength, will see you survive and prosper.

Things you should consider when applying for OCI

Caleigh Rabbitte (3L)

(Note: Caleigh is in Hong Kong on exchange and still manages to be involved!)

1. Do not include a picture of yourself with the application. They will have already cross-referenced you with the Who’s Who, so your glamour shot will only make them laugh when they see the real you.

2. Sometimes firms interview people because they are boggled by something included in the cover letter, such as “Bentley James LLP has a fairly good reputation in Edmonton”

3. Include your ridiculous hobby on your resume. Chances are that somebody somewhere also knows somebody who loves to juggle. But don’t include your rank in the Klingon space navy.

4. If you have to ask somebody if your skirt it too short, it probably is. (Note that your friends will always tell you its not too short, so don’t trust them)

5. Cancelling dinner with one firm and showing up for dinner at the same restaurant with another firm will impress your fellow students for both your guts and your stupidity.

6. Do not try to work in a bow tie. You are not John Law.

7. Do not try to work in a skinny tie. You are not Scott Matheson.

8. Do not go in to an interview not wearing a suit jacket. I know they say you don’t need to have a suit. You need to have a suit. And not one from Value Village. That being said, don’t go out and get a custom made suit just because you have two OCI interviews and never buy a suit from Banana Republic full price. There is always a coupon in the LSA office (thanks Marny!).

9. Drinking yourself sick will not impress any firm. Drinking yourself until you are almost sick but still able to talk about current events WILL impress all firms.

10. Do not apply to what you believe are “mid size firms” based on their presence at school for sponsorship. You will be very surprised to find out that Gowlings is in fact a large national firm.

11. Listening to your roommate who says that “its not a big deal to answer your phone on call day, they will leave you a message” is a BAD idea. They will not leave a message. They will call you 17 times while in class. Just politely leave the classroom and come back. Leave your self-important smirk at the door.

12. Please don’t be that person who complains that they are SO busy with all their OCIs, and that they have NO idea how to fit in all their dinners. You could be the person that isn’t hired anywhere because of your annoying personality.

13. When out with firms, don’t check yourself out in every reflectable surface.

14. When in doubt… ask. People in upper year who have been successful in the past are great resources. That being said, ask around. Don’t be like me and only ask your roommate.

Law Truly Is a Beach

Barry Loutit (2L)

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that any law student or faculty member in possession of a clear mind and healthy body, is in want of a Law’s A Beach slo-pitch championship title. For that reason and only that reason, eight teams of the most dedicated athletes the University of Alberta law school has to offer shrugged off El Hacko and other event-induced hangovers to brave the early morning cold at Windsor Park on September 18. Apart from slo-pitch, the teams also had the chance to enjoy some delicious burgers and beverages in a state-of-the-art serving area that was only completed by a mastery of snow fence, city work, and plastic ties. But let’s be serious, the real star of the day, and the reason why most people showed, was the slo-pitch.

The championship came down to two teams: the defending champion Tortfeasors against upstart 2L team Motion To Strike. In a pitched back-and-forth battle, each side teased that they would end up on top. The crowd was pumped up and excited for this one. Hits were traded, numerous fielding errors were committed, and Raji Deol (3L), to the delight of everyone watching, struck out repeatedly to Trent Falldien’s (2L) devastating underhand pitch. In the end, the Tortfeasors prevailed and successfully defended their title. Impending graduations will hurt the champs next year, and unless the May cousins plan on carrying the team on their back (or perhaps sabotaging the grades of 3L teammates), they should be looking for new recruits soon. Motion To Strike will be back with a vengeance, and the Tortfeasors need to be ready for that.

In the consolation final, two different themes came into play. Team Lawsome emphasized charisma and elegance with their homemade outfits and charming nicknames. On the other side of the field was the enormous Student Legal Services (also known as the “Bad News Bearristers”) team who had brought their significant others, their families, their cousins, their friends, and even a dog to play with them. Their theme was clearly family values, and they emphasized this by engaging in constant group hugs and sing-a-longs during the game. These feats of friendship were so incredibly intimidating that it caused opposition members Jay White (2L) and Steven Dollanksy (2L) to fall down on almost every play. Regardless of their failure to stay vertical (or perhaps because of it), Team Lawsome carried the day, won the consolation final, and proudly became the best of the worst. The SLS family was dismayed by the loss and by the fact that the bus they rented to get them to-and-from the game was nowhere near big enough.

The award for “best team costume” was won by the plaid-wearing and bloody-axe sporting Lawmberjacks. There were several reasons behind this decision. First, several harassing and threatening phone calls were made demanding this prize. There is a slight chance that these intimidating phone calls were made under the influence of alcohol. Second, there was some concern that the axes they had been carrying around could have been real, or at the very least could have been somewhat painful if one was hit with it (I bruise easily!).

Finally, the glamorously outfitted 99 Problems But A Pitch Ain’t One had left the fields some hours earlier and no one was quite sure where to find them (don’t fret guys, consolation prizes, in the form of hugs, will be given out to you by any Grad Committee 2012 member you request them from. Limit one per person per day). Special individual mention goes to John Schmidt (2L), who seemingly signed up for the 1L team for the sole purpose of scaring new students by wearing only a v-neck and some incredibly short jean shorts. Mission accomplished John.

Finally, special thanks go to our event sponsors. Blake, Cassels & Graydon LLP for being the presenting sponsor, Reynolds, Mirth, Richards and Farmer LLP as the official refreshment sponsor, and Bennett Jones LLP Edmonton for being the official diamond sponsor. In addition, thank you to Trent Falldien, Jorge Pineda, Ryan Smith, and Jim Taylor for helping to set-up the event and thank you to Pierre Dickner and Tom McGrath from Campus Recreation for lending us the sporting equipment.

Soccer Intramurals Update

Jessie Larter (2L) and Harman Kandola (2L)

As I’m sure most of you are unaware, the Law Faculty has a women’s soccer team. Last year’s undefeated squad won the coveted Campus Rec championship t-shirts. Unfortunately, after the second game of the season, our dreams of once again going undefeated were shattered. “Justice League” played the opening match in the rain on the Lister grass field, which was more like a cow pasture than a soccer pitch. We were a man down the entire match and up against the 15 man squad from Rehab. Despite this, and the referee’s failure to acknowledge Katharine Woloszyn (3L)’s goal just before half – yet another instance where soccer would benefit from goal line technology – we secured a comfortable 5-2 victory.

Our second game of the season was against Geology, or The Hot Schists as they called themselves. The conditions of the pitch were perfect, the temperature was in the high teens and, unlike our first match, we had enough players to field a full team.

Yet after going down 2-0 we were unable to dig ourselves out of the hole. Brooke Degaust (2L)’s lone goal late in the second half gave us a faint hope of securing at least a draw, but before we could equalize, the final whistle was blown as were our hopes and dreams of an undefeated season.

However, if the World Cup taught me anything this summer, it’s that the Championship is in reach even after an early and embarrassing loss.

With the inspired name, Strikers, the men´s intramural soccer team began its quest for glory with a reserved 1-0 victory over the hapless Med team. A devastating strike from Ben L. was enough to seal the victory and allow the team to mercilessly mock their opponents with stunning displays of pinpoint passing to play out the clock.

A bloated playing squad meant that each player had very little time to impress and find chemistry with his new teammates. Fortunately, the abundant skill advantage of the Strikers over the Med students led to a comfortable victory.

However, the team faced formidable foes in their next outing when challenged by a team comprised of highly experienced elite amateur players. Without their leading goal scorer and first choice keeper, the Strikers found themselves down two goals very early in their second game.

Without reserves of substitutes to call upon for wholesale changes to the lineup, the players had to rely upon each other to forge a collective spirit to fight back against their superior opponents. However, the team demonstrated their championship caliber by dispatching the three goals to overtake a stunned opposition. The slain foe was unable to mount any further attack stifled by a renewed emphasis on team defense. As the game stumbled to an end, the opponents lost all hope and began limping out of the match with feigned injuries.

The Strikers are the clear class of their division and will be expected to mount a serious challenge for the intramural crown.

NBA Season So Far

Alvin Lok (2L)

Dear Mr. LeBron James,

This summer you have given up whatever attractions there are in Cleveland for the beautiful beaches of Miami. Now that you are teammates with Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh, the 2010-11 Miami Heat may be the greatest basketball team of all time. Stan Van Gundy has predicted that your team will surpass the 72-win record set by the 1995-96 Chicago Bulls led by his Airness Micheal Jordan.

As a die-hard basketball fan, I have only one question: How could you be so stupid?

You have all the talent and potential in the world. You may be the best pure athlete the NBA has ever seen. Your name could have been mentioned alongside Jordan’s in any “Greatest of All Time” discussions. Now you have singlehandedly destroyed all of that. At best, you will be remembered as a good player on a great team–nothing more. At worst, you will be remembered as a coward. Instead of trying to win on your own, you took the easy way out and joined with
two other franchise superstar players to form a super team. Even if you go on to win 10 NBA championships you won’t be respected as a great player because the credit will have to be shared with D-Wade and Chris Bosh.

Even if he never won a single championship, Michael Jordan would have never left the Chicago Bulls and joined the Utah Jazz to form a super team with Karl Malone and John Stockton. How can you deserve the nickname of King James when you abandon your own kingdom and take a lesser role with your rivals simply for the sake of an easy win? You’ve shown me that you don’t have the desire to be great; you have no heart.

Now that you’re a member of the super team, you will not receive any accolades for winning the NBA Championships because it is expected.

However anything short of a championship would be considered an utter failure. Being at the top, you have a long, long way to fall Mr. James–and I will be waiting for it.

Signed,

A Bitter Lakers Fan

Editor’s Note: As a lifelong Oiler’s fan, I can sympathize with the plight of Cleveland fans, but on the flipside these ridiculous signings created one of the greatest sports rants of all time. YouTube ‘Dan LeBatard Rejoices Over The Three Kings’ and you will see exactly what I’m talking about.

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