Losing my Locks

By Jennifer Locke (2L)

Why did I decide to shave my head? I considered it after last year when Caleigh and Audrey did it. If they had the courage and commitment to do it, why couldn’t I? I had the inkling since then.
This summer, I learned that my best friend’s mom has a terminal prognosis. I was at work when my friend called. After I got off the phone, I shut the door of my office and cried as quietly as possible so my co-workers wouldn’t hear.

It just wasn’t fair. Barb has battled cervical cancer, leukemia, breast cancer, and now bone cancer. She was on pain killers and the doctors were delaying treatment as long as they could because her immune system never recovered after her battle with leukemia. Then they found spots on her liver and determined that she would have 6-8 months without chemo, or 8-18 months with chemo. She was slated to begin treatment at the end of summer, but it was delayed. Her femurs were so badly eroded by cancer that she needed surgical pins put in to stabilize the bones.

She lost all her hair when she first went through chemo in 1995. After her hair fell out the second time, it never grew back. People tell me not to worry — hair grows back. I wish that was always true. Losing my locks was a little unnerving. I can’t imagine what it would be like to lose them forever.

Oddly enough, I never wanted to tell Barb that I was shaving my head, and I was too embarrassed to ask her for a donation. I felt that if I did this for her it would be like admitting defeat in a way. I knew my friend didn’t want me to do this for her either. Don’t ask me why my friend and I didn’t want this to be about Barb. It’s just one of those mystical understandings between friends where no reasons are required.

In the days since, I have learned several things:
1. I don’t want to be near an oven until Christmas holidays.
2. I have a lot more counter space now that I’ve put away my hair products, brushes, and blow dryer.
3. You can’t tell that my brother dropped me on my head when I was an infant.
4. The moles on the top of my head are flesh coloured.
5. That having a shaved head is akin to wearing a sexy pair of underwear.
6. I can sleep in longer.
7. Sometimes you do things without a known reason. But there’s that little flutter in your heart that tells you you’re on the right path when you make a commitment.

I would like to thank all of those who donated items to my bake sales: Sara Hughes and her roommate Barb, Caleigh Rabbitte, Mimi Simon, Brittany Crow, and Nicole Patterson. These wonderful ladies helped me generate close to $1,000 to go towards my final total which is: $2,791.10.

Cheers.