Law Cat: Gabong… who lives with Jim Young (2L)

When you aren’t eating somebody’s homework, what do you spend your time doing?
I don’t eat homework. That’s what dogs do. Cats play with much higher stakes. For example, last year I kicked over a full cup of coffee onto my roommate’s computer. Ha! Ha! And, once I killed a fledgling robin while its mommy and daddy watched in horror. Ha! Ha!

If you were to choose one person in law school to lick on a daily basis, other than your owner, who and why?
My favorite thing in the world is the gravy in Friskies Turkey and Cheese Dinner. I always lick the gravy and leave the chunks. Around exam time, some law students have facial complexions that remind me of that dish. I would like to lick the greasiest amongst them.

How do you torture your owner? Do you find your methods effective?
First of all, I don’t have an owner. Dogs have owners. I torture the guy I live with by putting surprises in his shoes; once I put a headless mouse in there.

Did you sign up for that Animal Rights course? Why or why not?
I am all for animal welfare, but doesn’t “animal rights” mean that I can’t have Friskies Turkey and Cheese Dinner?

What is (or would be) your favorite space in the Law Centre and why?
Nowhere. The ceilings are too high and that freaks me out.

What was your most embarrassing moment?
I was shagging my teddy bear, as I am wont to do about midnight, when I fell off the edge of the bed. It was so embarrassing. Cats are supposed to be graceful and nimble even in the heat of passion.

Who/what is the one person/thing in law school you would puke on because you hate them?
Hate is such an energy sapping emotion. However, some people and things have nearly bored me to the point of puking.

Do your peers love or hate you, and why?
Well, cats invariably hate other cats. My human peers either love me or hate me because of my brutal honesty. I am a very polarizing force.

What is your most annoying habit?
Shredding rolls of toilet tissue.

If you were to take out a singles ad, what would it say?
Aloof, cynical bastard seeks like minded female for very brief trysts involving a little shagging and a lot of mocking the world. Must respect boundaries and intuitively know when it’s time to go home and let me sleep.

Do you have any holiday traditions?
I wake up before everyone else on Christmas morning and tear open all the presents. Sometimes I will smash a few Christmas tree ornaments. Then I sleep.