He Says… She Says

Dating On-line

She Says – Dana Skorenki (3L)

John and I were asked to write about dating on-line. Really? The only thing that I’m aware of that John goes to bed with every night is a bottle of NyQuil.  And the worst part is that I’m actually envious of his willingness and ability to commit to the NyQuil.  

E-harmony ads say it’s about finding the right person.  I’m just not that sure it’s the best way.  

They suggest answering them honestly, but who wants to do that?  How will people think I am a doctor and an astronaut who saves puppies if I have to be honest?  After the questions, you have to wait for someone “compatible” to be matched to you!  Next, you will have to swap e-mails.  If this goes well, you get to send a picture or two.  This will be followed by hours of anxiety and will probably result in starting the entire process over because while you were ‘being honest’, they failed to mention they have abnormally small ears or a unibrow. Should you both pass the picture test, you will go to Starbucks for more anxiety.

Provided both of you show up, you get to see if there is any “chemistry.”  I mean, what if your date slurps when they drink?  That sounds like a few years of loathing, followed by a woosh and an expensive trial to me. If you are looking for efficiency, I’ve heard there’s something you really have to try… with hundreds of local singles just a phone call away, stay in tonight and call Quest – it’s the hotspot to connect with great singles in your area.

If this is too much work, then I suggest NyQuil.

He Says – John Gilbert (3L)

Dating on-line doesn’t make any sense to me!  I believe that dating on-line must be very awkward.  Both of you are so constrained.  You have the whole world out there to explore.  Don’t limit yourself.  Think of all the places you COULD go.  You could go to the zoo, a concert, a movie, or the park.  Sure you could go on-line in these places, but it just isn’t the same. 

By making this strange decision, you now become stuck to whatever you can do on-line and wherever you can go on-line.  Yes, you can go on-line in many places, but if you are in a place you don’t know, there is always the danger that it will break down. Then what?  Plus, despite what anyone might tell you, it is very dangerous.  One wrong step and you are fish food.  This is a fact. 

Sure, you can get some added thrills out of this, but is it worth your life?  I would go so far as to say that Parliament should begin to regulate this activity.  People should be required to go to a training course before they are even permitted to go on-line.  Circuses don’t just throw people up there do they?  They do not.  In summation, dating a person while on a line suspended hundreds of feet in the air is more dangerous and more constricting than dating a person while you are standing on the ground.