Clubs Not Offered By U of A Law (Yet)

Megan Fennell 3L

You thought the LSAT trotted out brain-bending puzzles? With September comes Clubs Week, and that means puzzling out that delicate balance between joining enough clubs to prove non-hermit status and leaving time for those little things in life like sleep. And breathing.

There’s also the question of how your personal club combination is going to look on your résumé. Should you choose fun clubs or impressive ones? Presenting yourself as a proud executive member of Vin Ordinaire, the Scotch Enthusiasts Club and the Brandy Bunch might also leave an odd first impression. (Note to the first-years: Only one of the aforementioned is a real club. I’ll let you figure out which one.)

Personally I miss the days when I joined groups based on which ones would get me to my lifelong ambition of being the first dog-sled racing ballerina in outer space the fastest. But that’s probably more than you wanted to know about me.

Maybe… creative soul that you are… you’re intent on creating something brand new for Clubs Week this year. If that sounds like your speed, please allow me to present a few of my own ideas for clubs that the faculty could use.

The Ego-liminator Club. This is a faculty of generally confident folk, and rightfully so, but we could all use a healthy dose of humility every once in a while. This club would invite students from other faculties to visit our fair building and remind us that there’s a whole world of knowledge out there that we don’t possess. Extra credit if they manage to make any Dean’s Listers cry. (Admit it, the Med students would love this.) On the flip side, the Hug Club would be there waiting for you after that first round of midterm results.

LOLawyers. This club would offer a safe trial audience for those untested zingers that sound brilliant in your own head and… slightly less brilliant once they hit the open air. Get the yea or nae here first before you whip out a potentially disastrous ‘did you hear the one about’ at Career Day!

Basic Dance for Dummies. It’s great learning starbursts and hippy-hippy shakes for Law Show, but I some of us are in need of something more basic. You know as well as I do the things that happen at Carbolic Smoke Ball. Your reputation might not escape an enthusiastic inebriated rendition of ‘The Sprinkler’ unscathed.

Fight Club. The first rule of First Club is: You don’t talk about… oh, um. Strike that from the record. And pay no attention to any mysterious gatherings in the Gavel late Saturday nights. You didn’t hear it from me.

Of course, if you prefer less imaginative options, you could just check out the wide variety of clubs already in existence within the faculty instead, or roam out into the campus beyond the law building and see is on offer. (Hey, we’re allowed to do that, I checked!)